And it’s gone daddy, gone, my mind is gone!
Submitted by admin on April 30, 2009 - 4:30 am
Bonjour!
I knew this morning was Duchess Digest Day at Single Minded Women. But no one could have been more excited to see what I wrote than I was – since I honestly could not remember what the hell my column was about this week. I’m seriously losing my mind! I only emailed it to my editor six days ago – talk about short term memory loss!
Well, I did read it, and I think you should as well. It’s about your top five (people that is) and how they’re influencing your whole life. It has been said we are the exact sum or average of the five people we spend the most time with – so what does that say about you? Are you vibing with some really great, happy people? Or are you rushing around jamming on deadline with a horde of unhealthy jerks? Maybe somewhere in the middle?
Check it out for tips on how your top five affect you and how you can assess what people may need to find a new spot lower on your list.
Bittersweet Symphony
Submitted by admin on April 29, 2009 - 4:07 am
Bonjour!
I think all these intense questions I’ve been mulling over for the past few weeks have really started to ware on me. Okay, that’s a good example of one of those words – wear on me or ware on me? I’m not “wearing” the questions but I’m not putting them in tupper”ware” either. Hmmm . . . Back to the post.
I came home from work last night, talked and shared a glass of champagne with the roomie, and then passed out at about 8:30pm and didn’t stir until my alarm went off this morning. I think I had almost 10 hours of straight sleep – that’s when I know I’m exhausted.
The thing with life is that when you have to make big decisions, i.e. stay in L.A. or leave, there are really obvious great things about both and really obvious bad things about both. Hence my affinity for the Verve’s lovely song. Because it is bittersweet. There is no clear outcome or glaringly obvious great choice. It’s not like choose to live in paradise and have champagne every day or choose hard labor in the snow. I guess, at the end of the day, all we can do it make the best decision we can make based on the facts and information available to us at that moment, and trust that no matter which path we choose there will be great things about it and we’ll be okay.
That will have to be my new affirmation; I will be okay. Hell, I will be fabulous, not just okay! I am fabulous.
So my thought for today is this; sometimes it is the decisions themselves that end up paralyzing us. I’ve always been one for action. I don’t ever want analysis paralysis to keep me from living my life and seizing the opportunities that come along.
“There is time for work and time for love. That leaves no other time.” –Coco Channel
And time for the munchkin . . . Coco forgot that. Well, I guess that's love. And I love my mini-me!
Growing up is Tough.
Submitted by admin on April 28, 2009 - 4:28 am
Bonjour!
Well, like the post says, growing up can be tough. I think around 11 or 12 years old we are each introduced to our first shade of gray. And maybe, that first introduction won’t take, so we’ll continue to deal in black and white for a while longer. But eventually, somewhere, with someone in some situation, we chose the slightly faded shade of black or the eggshell white and we thought, “It’s almost black.” Or “It’s almost white; it won’t hurt anything.” And it rarely does, in fact sometimes our gray-scale is better then absolutes. But we end up, or rather I’ve ended up, nearly twenty eight years old sitting on the precipice of a major decision at a fork in the road with no clear winners or losers on either side.
When my little black dress is oh-so good, but my white legs in the summer are icky bad, and black marks on my carpet are awful, but my white clean t-shirts are staples, which way do I turn for a straight answer? How did all the decisions get so gray?
Life’s haziness aside, it’s time for this little Duchess to take some serious action. I have had a new major decision come my way as of yesterday morning at 10:30 – and so it’s time to put my thinking cap on and make a decision. I thought I would do that last night but the twin scored some Lakers v. Jazz tickets at the Staples Center – so I was caught up in the court drama, ever so distracted but not able to really think this thing through (but the game was awesome!).
So today’s thought is simply this:
“To thine own self be True.” – Shakespeare
Now who am I again?
Looking out over the top of Prague, Czech.
A case of the Mondays
Submitted by admin on April 27, 2009 - 4:36 am
Bonjour!
Most people love their weekends, but for some reason, for me, since I moved to L.A. I’m not a big weekend fan. I guess I always feel like weekends are for lovers, the two day break where you spend all your time together and since that’s not a part of my life, I always end up feeling a little lonely.
This weekend however, was much better then most, but there’s always that tinge of wondering when that is going to happen again for me. The thing about moving is I get a clear demarcation point of one year’s progress. One year ago I moved in and was doing x,y and z. This year has changed so much in my life. I realize it was a time for doing a lot of work on my own. But it’s been a year and I’d like a companion again. I feel totally embarrassed to even write this, I know we’re all supposed to love being alone all the time and all the freedom it brings. There are great things about being alone but for me personally, there are even better things about having a lover, companion and best friend all wrapped up in a handsome package that you get to sleep with all the time inside of the trust and security of a commitment. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop wanting that. But that’s much adieu about nothing right now, on with the weekend. . .
My roomie and I enjoyed a nice brunch Saturday morning – which was really great. She seems really happy right now and seeing all the cool stuff she’s doing and her happiness is contagious. She gives me hope in a lot of ways that things are possible. I love her. Then I went and worked out really hard with my trainer that afternoon. Catherine (of LifeStyled) kicked my ass royally – hiking and lifting in Temescal Canyon. It was about three hours of activity and man are my shoulders and upper back feeling it this weekend. There was the most beautiful view from the top of the canyon looking out over the Palisades, down to downtown and out across the ocean. It was stunning.
I spent the rest of the night packing (the move is this week – ahhhh!) and did the same thing for the majority of the day yesterday. Packing, packing, packing. Last night my friend’s boyfriend was playing in a jazz bar and grill so he invited me out to watch and have dinner. It was really good. My energy was totally in the toilet, I was actually crying on the drive over, so when I walked in and the live music was blaring and people were dancing everywhere and singing and having so much fun – I was so glad I went. It transformed my mood. I love seeing people that happy and having that much fun. The music was fantastic, the food was great (if very slow to arrive) and I love seeing my friend. He starts his new job today so everyone send my Number Five Chakra buddy a lot of love.
I hope you all had a great weekend. If you’re feeling a little iffy, like I am, try to be honest with yourself about what you’re really feeling and going through, but then try to just let it go and put your focus ob what you DO want. I know I’m the perfect example of the woman trying to hold water with a clenched fist. I’m trying to learn how to let go of my strong hold and just accept that I’m on my own and the love thing will work out when it’s supposed to work out again. It’s really hard for me to accpet that it’s just not in the cards for me right now, for whatever reason, and try not to make it mean something (i.e. what is wrong with me? Answer: Nothing. It’s not personal, it’s just not happening).
If any of you have some great tools for letting go – I’d love to hear them! Maybe you could help the Duchess. Actually I’m sure you could!
Until then, love and so much light to you all. Everything always works out how it’s supposed to in the end and we are each so loved. Have a beautiful day!! And seriously, write me with any tid bits of wisdom. I could use them.
“Remember that every single thing you’ve gone through has helped lead you to where you are today.” –Wayne Dyer
The Duchess in Chamonix, France.
New Theme!
Submitted by admin on April 26, 2009 - 5:44 am
Well here is the new Duchess logo, along with the new Duchess Blog Theme. I wanted a site that incorrated twitter, so now you can all tweet along. Hope you enjoy and you can find me on twitter as, jilltheduchess
Yes, that’s Jill the Duchess, all together, all lower case, jilltheduchess.
Friday’s Featured Friend of Duchess!
Submitted by admin on April 24, 2009 - 4:17 am
Bonjour!
I’m excited about today’s featured Friend of Duchess, because a) she’s so awesome and b) she is doing the greatest things through her site and c) she was one of the very first new amazing women I met out here in Los Angeles. She is none other then the fabulous Vanessa Torres of That Happened to Me (www.ThatHappenedToMe.com).
I will let her give you the juicy details on the site and what she’s up to – but let me just tell you first how much I believe in Vanessa and her efforts to help women come together, share stories and build community to sort through the common issues we’ve all faced! As any of you who read yesterday’s Duchess Article on Singlemindedwomen.com know, I have a real distaste for women who tear each other down. My goal for many years now has been to build and support any women’s organizations that truly exist by women and for women. It’s not the men or the jobs or anything else that’s kept us down, 9 times out of 10, it’s been another woman trying to hold us back. We have to stop that! We have to love and support and truly rejoice in each other’s success’s. I know Martin Luther King, Jr. was talking about all of mankind when he said this, but I think it could apply to just the ladies as well, “Until we are all healed, none of us is healed!” Enter Vanessa.
She has a heart of gold, is gorgeous, smart and fun – and, well, probably most importantly, she’s another great dog mommy like me! Her whole site is about helping women come together to help each other. This is my kind of Duchess!!
So without any further adieu . . . I give you the lovely and ever talented, Vanessa Torres . . .
Vanessa Torres of That Happened To Me
In 2007 I experienced my “aha!” moment while going through the aftermath of a broken engagement. The end of the relationship was devastating personally, but also introduced a slew of follow-up decisions I felt less than prepared to make. Having not actually been married, I realized that there weren’t any hard and fast rules or legal precedents established regarding a breakup with a Significant Other. Most of the advice I found online related to divorcing spouses, joint custody and paternity issues.
Not being able to find a place where women could get support from peers – and professionals – I decided to create one. That Happened to Me.com launched in October of 2008 with the support of a team of experts prepared to give women what they want and need – comforting! One of the main goals
of the site is to encourage women to open up about this painful experience and share their stories in an effort to lessen the feelings of shame, rejection, isolation and depression that are so prevalent during a breakup. It’s also a place to share tips, coping strategies, and even a joke or two.Since launching the site, I have also started contributing to other women’s lifestyle sites, such as www.singlewomenrule.com
and
I have met so many wonderful, supportive, and inspirational women (the Duchess included!), that only six months post-launch, I can’t imagine life without ThatHappenedtome.com! My goal for this year is to gather women together for
offline events where we can discuss personal and professional matters, and just generally strengthen our suppport networks.Vanessa Torres is a native of New York City, but has lived in Los Angeles for the past 15 years. She is the proud owner of two German Shepherds and is this close to getting her convertible Mini Cooper.
