If you’ve learned anything so far about Dating like a Duchess – you are well aware that authenticity and individuality are the ways to be truly successful in dating. However, every Duchess needs a little help to learn the tools that work well when dating and to uncover any habits which are unconsciously sabotaging your success. The fourth dating tip I want to share with you is one of the subtle dating pitfalls that is tough to beat but crucial to overcome. It’s the pungent odor of desperation.

This one is tough because we all have enough ego to never want to admit when we’re feeling kind of needy. As in, need a date, need a guy, need a relationship, neeeeedy. You’ve been out with guys before where you could tell they needed and wanted it more than you – why is that so unappealing? Because on some level even when they don’t come right out and say it – you know it’s happening. It’s so subtle, it’s energetic and it’s something you have to get clear about and confront head on. It will come through in your conversation on dates, your actions while dating and it will get you the opposite of what you want every time. The reason it’s a challenge is because honestly, you DO want a date. So how do you want a dating life without Needing it to the point where you smell a little desperate.

The best advice I can give to you is two fold:

1) Get a piece of paper. Draw a line through the middle of it; essentially halving the page.
a) Now at the top write “The Last 3 Great Dates I had came when . .” and write down EXACTLY what you were doing when your last 3 dating opportunities presented themselves (i.e. when you got asked out).
b) Now at the top of the bottom half of your divided sheet of paper write, “The Last Great Relationship I had came when . . .” and write down 1) what was happening in your life at the time it happened, 2) how it came to be (i.e. was he asking you out, you him? Where did the asking happen? 3) what was so great about it?
c) Now get out a colored pen and circle any patterns on the page with the two halves. Look for the patterns. Obviously something was working – so what are the repeatable elements? Connect the dots and try to get back into those activities, places and/or most importantly – that STATE OF MIND!!

2) Have Fun.
a) Flip the piece of paper over and draw a line through the middle – halving the paper again. Now across the top write “My Top 10 Favorite things to do for fun are . . .” and list them out.
b) Are you currently doing all 10 things on that list regularly? If not – do it now. Seriously – right now. When you’re life is full and you’re having a kick ass fun time – things magically happen. It’s the BEST and EASIEST (and most fun!) advice I can ever give!!

When your life is fun, full and a joy to you – your partner in fun opportunities will present themselves. No scent of desperation for you! Just a great partner and a fun time!

P.S. If you’re interested in joining an upcoming dating success workshop be sure to check out the latest Date like a Duchess offerings on the Duchess Workshops Page by clicking HERE. Join me and other dating royalty and learn to leave settling in the past!

P.S.S. Also, if you’re a visual learner there’s a video summary of this tip available for you to see, share and send to friends on the Duchess You Tube page – just click HERE and see Tip 4 of the 5 part Date like a Duchess video series. Long may YOU reign!!